To have a friend is to be a friend
To have a friend be a friend.
There is a variety of signs which you can find out below to apply for yourself as a valuable guide for FRIENDSHIP. There is really a fake and a real friend, so be careful who you trust and tell your problems to, because all who smiles at you is not your friend.
Thereby, for you to have an idea about it, and so that you can be guided accordingly on what to do in order for you to be called good friend.
It is always based in our actions and the kind of word that we have spoken from our mouths that is needed to be taken a close consideration in order for a friend to not to be called a bad friend. We have to be cautious always of our self, we have to be careful of what we are saying through connecting our mouth to our brain before we engage in talking.
Evaluate yourself for you might be already a terrible friend and not just realizing it, so what’s out for your every move specially to your friends and when dealing with people around you.
Probably some of you are starting to be excited on how it is when we say about good friend and bad friend, if you know how to differentiate it, you can also be able to notice it and therefore, you have the capability to avoid it if you want to.
Whenever we are with friends we are sometimes just so insensitive about what we are saying, because it’s friend that is around, we tend to rely on and forget that due to carelessness in talking we have already mentioned some words not necessary to be said because it is hurting.
However, such level of comfort can be a good thing, but at the same time a lot of ugliness can start leaking out. It could always be a reflection of the person you really are.
You may be a bad friend in some ways if:
By showing a negative quality towards them, and by assuming that because you think a certain way, your friends and others do too. If you are fond of talking about others behind their backs then you’d assume everyone else does the same, and you will start blaming others and talk about how they went and did something even though they never did.
It’s a disgusting thing which is so noticeable from friend specially those who are so sensitive in talking. So be very careful try to avoid talking with other people when you are talking with friends because they said that those who gossip about others will also gossip about you, so never make it a habit of having other people as the topic of your conversation, because it is not your business and so that you will not be judged as gossiper.
Never start criticizing or blaming others for everything. Don’t be defensive, don’t think that you will never be mistaken, and it’s not your fault, and you are always right. We are human being and liable to err.
Don’t think that if It’s wrong it is because only of them, and you start showing different moves to let them know, even not in verbal ways but by your action you are talking about your comment on the situation based on your assumptions, and gradually you start to lose some valuable friends.
Don’t be with them only during the time when you need them, but in all circumstances you should find time, to reach them and show your concerns as a good friend.
Or else later if your friend doesn’t like you anymore, because of your ways that implying to be not a good friend, you will start receiving response from your call or message like, “ why did you call?” “how come you send message this time?” instead of saying, “it’s nice that you called up, I was missing you, how are you now?” or “it’s nice that you called up, I was looking for you?
These are the best answer that a real friend should do whenever they receive calls or messages, and friends who answers in this way are definitely good friends and very well knowledgeable about how to be a good friend.
You should be cooperative with all the activities your friends are engaging. You should not evade any responsibility, and you just leave them all for them to handle it, this is very much bad way as a friend.
When there is work to be done be responsible for it and try ask a share as your load in order to be a part of it rather than avoiding in taking part and be an irresponsible and not a caring friend.
Teamwork is very important, offer yourself what you can share not that you will only demand a share, you will be so selfish if that’s the way.
So for happiness and hardship you should be around always, not that during happiness you are there, and during hardship you can’t be seen. And then if this is the way, you will start noticing some friends avoiding you, some friends will become disinterested in you, some friends will not willing to help you when you’re in need.
Be considerate about your friends feeling, in friendship it requires a lot of give and take. Every word that we speak in front of friends there is a meaning of it, so be always conscious that you are dealing with friends who are only human beings and also have emotions like you,
that whatever you feel you like that is the same with your friends they also wanted the same things, meaning whatever you think that can make you happy is the same things that your friends are looking for.
Never disregard a friend, always be a caring friend, and then you will notice that most of your friends will also care for you, because whatever you do good to your friends will normally come back to you.
Never make any negative comments in front of friends because you don’t know how they care for your other friends. Every time you have something to say to the others, it will always reflect on your personality.
Friends are very sensitive on things, they counted every word they heard although it’s not a good way, but this is the reality and not a good way for a friend to have it as way of thinking things.
Therefore, to be a good friend is not an easy thing, however, very difficult thing because every small mistake you make will become a big thing because friends are expecting always from you as a supporter not a commenter.
A good friend is happy to see when a friend is happy, if a friend is enjoying in singing, no matter how it is sang whether nice or bad, you should be happy for your friend not that you will have other comment which is not good to be heard, even if you don’t comment in front, but soon it can surely be known and will cause disappointment in you.
Their opinions mean nothing to you and it’s usually drowned out by your own stories. You fight for time to speak and when they are talking you’re usually tapping your feet impatiently for your turn to talk. Oh and they know when you’re pretending to listen.
Tossing in a question to make it seem like you care is insincere. What’s worse is when you ask them something only to interrupt them mid-answer so you can start talking.
These are the characteristic of a good friend
Be punctual in any appointments. When you feel like something is wrong, be honest if you have something to say or anything which you don’t understand. Make sure they’re okay with you.
It’s easy to go overboard, but when tactful it can mean the world to them when you show you’re concerned. Send them a text, a phone call (even better,) or surprise them by showing up at their front door.
Make an excuse to spend time with them. It just means showing you want them to be okay. Unfortunately, there’s no universal method to being caring without being too pushy. Instead, you’ve got to figure out what works best and adjust as needed.
Some people are very good at hiding their negative emotions. Hopefully you’ve learned when they’re wearing a mask. Masks get heavy when you wear them for so long and sometimes you forget how to take it off.
I used to put on a brave face when I was going through rough times. It sucked but having good friends around who knew when I wasn’t really okay helped a lot.
There is always a proper way of showing your mood. Know when to be serious and when to show you are humorous. When it’s time to be serious, you also be serious as respect for your other friends.
No cheap attempt at being funny to avoid the real issues. You may argue from time to time and that’s alright. It’s natural, be mature and aim at finding common ground instead of trying to divert the attention elsewhere.
There are times to be messing around, but it gets tiring for others if you don’t know how or when to turn it off. If you can’t, then how can others trust you enough to share important things with you?
Your best efforts is so important in friendship. When they ask for your opinion or help on something that means something. It means they value what you think. If someone hands you an essay asking for you to help proofread or revise it then go the extra mile.
This means never half-ass things when it comes to your friends. These are your friends we’re talking about here. It’s a committed relationship and it sucks when the other person doesn’t put in effort to help when needed.
Show your best concern on them and never give up. Be there for them in their darkest hours. Going hand in hand with the first point, you don’t give up.
If they’re going through really difficult times then they may begin to close themselves off from you and your other friends. They’d say no to going out and hide from the world.
This annoys some people and eventually they give up, but good friends keep trying. Sure, it sucks to be the one trying to pull a friend out of rough times and it does get difficult to not throw my hands up in the air with frustration, but damn it, I know they’re not going to be able to get out on their own.
Show them you welcome and support all that they want. This means you listen to everything they say intently. You show you like being around them.
Sometimes even say it outright. “You’re an awesome friend,” “It’s not as fun when you’re not there,” or “I like hanging out with you, you know?” You should be comfortable enough together to be blunt about it without feeling weird.
Insecurity kicks in even when it shouldn’t. It doesn’t take a lot to show you care and re-assure them from time to time.
Be always there to care for them, and remind them that you’re friends for life by making sure they know you’ll always be there. This means keeping in touch or being there to cheer them up when they’ve got it rough.
If you’ve never told your closest friends this then make sure you do next time your friends tell you about a problem they’re hung up on.
Be considerate and pay respect on their privacy and boundaries, Know that you don’t have to be together 24/7. I need my space to recharge and I don’t always feel like hanging out with others.
That doesn’t mean I don’t like them. Good friends aren’t pushy and don’t get upset because of an occasional “no.” In fact, good friends know how to pick up right where they left off no matter how long it’s been since they last saw each other.
Don’t be defensive and be honest and constructive. There’s a difference between being conscious of their feelings and letting them ruin themselves in the long-run.
If they’ve developed a bad habit then kindly point it out and show you’re concerned. They’re picking up smoking? You care about their lungs. Drinking too much? Let them know you’ve noticed.
For less serious examples, imagine their breath smells and they’re going on a date. Do you want them to crash and burn later or would you rather let them suffer an ego hit, fix their act, and get out there in full confidence?
Or if their apartment is a mess then you can crack a joke about them needing to research minimalist living. If you feel like criticisms are harsh, offer them tips on how to improve.
Be proud of your friends and don’t hesitate to introduce to your family or relatives or to other people you know, let your friend fell that they’re not out of place. Your social circle might be tightly-knit, but there’s always room for expansion.
Introduce them to people they don’t know just to show you’re not afraid of being seen with them. Remember, you want to be proud of being in public with them. It’s up to them to decide if they want to start hanging out with these new people in the long-run. In fact, it doesn’t even matter if they do. Fun is what you’re aiming for here.
Be there for their hard time as well, not all time they are happy during their loneliness you should be there to show your sympathy. We all get in unexpected trouble and it’s good to know people who would jump to your rescue.
This is the best time to prove your real love to your friends when in hard time you are as a big help and support. It’s a great feelings being surrounded with friends. Heavy things will become lighter with just the simple presence of a friend.
We all have our own likes and dislikes and this must be accepted and respected as a good friend. This doesn’t mean avoiding subjects that are important and possibly life-changing.
I’m talking about bringing up things that serve no constructive purpose but to annoy them or to just fill the silence. Which brings me to my next point…
Don’t promise when you can’t keep it. When you say you’ll do something, be a person that sticks to your word. That means being punctual, not going back on your promises, and ensuring that you’re viewed as a reliable friend. Being unreliable will make your friends think twice before asking you for something.
Be a forgiving friend and always keep in mind that a friend is not perfect. It takes a lot to admit you did something wrong. Don’t be afraid of admitting to your friends that you messed up.
It happens to the best of us. Someone who can swallow his or her pride and admit they’re in the wrong is a great friend. It’s not cowardice to swallow pride, it means maturity, because we really need to show we care and value your friendship to the most.
Show that you’re so happy to have them as friend. We all get too caught up in our own lives and forget how to show appreciation. Sure, we know we care, but it’s difficult for the other person to know you, if you don’t show it.
It’s easy to tell when someone is dishonest. “Wow, I’m so happy for you,” with a non-eager face isn’t very convincing. Be invested in their successes and show in your facial expressions that you really are happy.
Show that you appreciate through your facial expression and gestures. It can be as simple as buying them something you thought they might like.
Giving small unexpected gifts is a big thing for a friend and a real giving is not to expect a return because not all friends have the capability of giving and by giving if a friend has something to share, you are at the same way also teaching them to give.
Be Always around for your support. It’s not a good feeling to be turned down by your friends. Sometimes life gets in the way and that’s okay. After all, remember the point about boundaries. However, I know how easy it is to say no. It becomes habitual.
It’s just so easy when you’re “not feeling it.” Make it a point to say yes more often to your friends when you can. You’re not that busy. Unless you’re absolutely certain there is no possibility of making room for your friends, you have no reason to have no time for your friends.
It’s easy to convince yourself you’re too busy. Don’t buy into your own stories. Always make time for them because it’s easy to drift apart.
Constant communication is so vital for friends. Life goes on and everyone has their own thing to do. Sure, picking up where you left off may be easy for you, but it’s just as easy to completely lose contact.
It takes effort, especially when there’s a lot of physical distance, to maintain a good friendship. It’s a relationship that takes both sides to work. To be a friend is also a big commitment because it’s a relationship equivalent as family.
Some friends are closes than relatives, caring for each other more than brother or sisters, and if you are this kind of friend you are like having a family that is with you all the time, in whatever will happen.
You should not make friends before understanding and don’t break friendship after misunderstanding, always remember that friendship is not a big thing, but it is a million little things. Thereby the saying says, “there is a small ship and there is a big ship but the best ship is FRIENDSHIP.
I hope you have learned something from this article, and if you have any questions and comments of maybe some suggestions feel free to write them below and I will be more than happy to help you out.
Founder of Bookworm Website