What is really the reason behind the presence of jealousy in any relationship? and why do I get jealous so easily?
Before we discover the cause of it, let us first find out how the jealousy is being defined .
The general definition of it is mostly referred to the thoughts of being insecure, accompanied with fear, and the common concern over a relative lack of possessions whether material or physical.
Jealousy is a cause of many kinds of emotions as it includes, love, hate, anger, inadequacy, disgust, envy, and inferiority complex.
Science has also found out another definition which describe it as, “ a complex emotion which surrounds the feelings from fear of abandonment, separation, and humiliation.
Nowadays it becomes the biggest psychological problems in both men and women on how to deal with jealousy in a relationship.
What are its hidden causes?
It’s not the question of why you are jealous, because you are not creating it, for it is the anxiety, worries, doubts, that is robbing you of your peace and happiness.
What is unclear in here is the reason why you have such feelings within yourself.
Some jealousy is having some logical reason but some are having no reasons at all.
The reason behind it all is hidden on what we feel is the cause, and what if we are just mistaken on what we are thinking?
So we are only wasting our worries and efforts on a wrong notion and conception of the situation.
Sometimes our jealousy is just triggered from a very small thing like the unanswered text, suspicion without a proof, and a doubt without the possibility to be true.
You must be wise and practical enough, if you would like to avoid the tension and misery that jealousy may bring to your relationship.
So the more you understand why there is such feeling as that, is the more you can effectively avoid and overcome and then you can be guided in moving forward and towards the direction of a happy relationship which is what you wanted to have.
Who moved us to feel jealous?
There is a mystery behind every jealousy, but most of it specially those that have no reasons are injected in our brain by our enemy the devil just so that insecurity will develop and will cause bad to the supposed to be happy relationship.
So jealousy is of two kinds, one is good, and it is the one that is so concerned and anxious specially when the partner, spouse or anyone in a relationship is not coming home to the usual expected time of arrival, it’s however not unusual for the one who really cares, for he can’t afford losing and finding another one to love.
The person who loves so much is so anxious waiting and because he’s not happy for it he is misinterpreted as a jealous one but actually it’s only because of his extreme love and affection that’s why he acted in that way.
The other kind is the one that is really a jealousy from thinking of something that happened which is sometimes true and sometimes without the truth and reality.
How will I overcome this feeling?
If you wish to overcome jealousy, you need to be open-minded, you need to learn to socialize and understand that not all you think is true, not all your suspicion are reality unless it’s proven with the fact and proof.
You need to broaden your mind in accepting, and keeping along well with every situation.
Try to share you feelings and doubts to someone whom you trust so that there is somebody who can be with you and find out what really is happening around.
By expressing yourself to your confidant, and by sharing what you have actually felt will be a big relief in your feelings of jealousy.
It’s actually normal to be jealous of another person for a while, but once you make it real even though not, you are only torturing yourself for nothing.
It is a huge impact to your life when you are heavily effected by jealousy, which is in other way will truly wear your life down into agony.
In order to overcome jealousy you need to move on with a life which is full of hope and trust with your partner, spouse, etc.,
Is jealousy good or bad?
Jealousy is good as long as it is kept under your own control and it should remain within the limits of common sense, and if it is in this way, this is the kind of jealousy which is a good sign that there is someone who really cares for you.
Jealousy can be a proof of true love to your partner, but when it is uncontrollable, it will make you become obsessive, and it will affect your whole being and will have a serious consequences in your relationship.
Many cases nowadays regarding this matter, had caused a lot of relationships to be ended up unreasonably.
Every time we love someone, we will always feel a little jealousy, which proved it that your love is not for fun but true.
A partner who never feel even a little jealousy has something wrong with his feelings towards you because it’s just normal to feel that way by the one who really cares.
Jealous partner are sensitive with their feelings, therefore, most of them are also trying to avoid making you feel the same, so if they are conscious enough they will not do something which make you feel jealous for they know how it feels to be jealous.
It is the jealousy that will inspire and motivate them to take special care of themselves, they will become so caring and loving in order to make something different so that no one else can compete with them and the partner can obviously see the comparison between you and them, and no competitor will dare to attempt grabbing your partner away.
In a relationship in which both partners are a jealous type, as long as not to reach to the point of obsession, and possessiveness, they will have a longer and even happier and harmoniously living together.
What Causes Jealousy in Relationships?
Most of the time, we are confused about love with the obsession which is controlling everything at every way.
Jealousy in a relationship is the kind of feeling which is making the person feel insecure, it can normally be by both persons.
It is the idea and thinking that once you are in the relationship, you already have the full right of each other which is supposed to be right but not all partners are having the same way of understanding about their individual right of each other.
But no matter what kind of relationship they are having, no matter how close and sweet they are for each other, there is still no assurance if they really belong to each other until they can be proven living together until they grow old and die.
The devil of extreme jealousy is the mind that always think that their partner is more beautiful than them, and more attractive than they are.
So for thinking of this, they will start to develop a sense of self insecurity, then they will feel afraid that their partner will find another one much better than them.
Therefore, they will feel some unreasonable jealousy which is sometimes right but mostly wrong, if the partner is really doing it, it’s okay but what if not, then you are only teaching him to do it for you, because are jealous without a proof and you are only allowing it to be the cause of a big trouble within your relationship.
The problem with jealous people is that they are thinking of not being good enough for their partner and therefore, they created a feeling which become more suspicious and obsessive.
But the main cause of them all, is the mistrust in themselves and the insecurity that they feel in a relationship.
People with some sorts of negative experiences in a close relationship, tend to fear that they might be experiencing the same heart ache again, and so they feel that they can’t manage anymore to the next time when if it will happen again, so the anxieties and worries are some of the big factors why there is jealousy in a relationship.
Base on what is being discussed in this article, jealousy in a relationship is often caused by “lack of self-confidence, lack of self-esteem, and most of all being dubious and suspicious.”
This delusion is causing a feeling of severe fear of being abandoned or changed with another better one.
There are many types of jealousy, but the most common one which is experienced by most people, are those categorized and classified in three ways.
The first one is the “suspicious jealousy,” where in this kind of feelings the partner is triggered when they see them closely talking and sometimes even flirting with another one which is also not good to happen, for no partner will be happy seeing them flirting with another one.
The second one is the so called “reactive jealousy,” where in this situation the partner deserve to be suspected and felt jealous because he previously cheated and therefore, the partner will naturally feel jealous out of sometimes no reasons because of mistrust.
So the third one is the “pathological jealousy,” where in this kind the partner is so obsessive and possessive, people with this feeling is always hallucinating and the minds and thoughts are being controlled by the wrong emotions which will sometimes lead to being insane. They will become irrational, violent, stressful which will affect to the psychological health, like blood pressure, heart rate will increase, social relationship will become different and the persons themselves will become sensitive to small matters, and so the whole being is affected and it’s not good for the partner’s well-being.
Then this can all affect to the attitude and behavior towards the partner, because the imaginary scenarios are magnified by suspicion and it will look like a reality.
Once you know that you are a jealous person, is the step forward to being able to overcome it.
Since jealousy can also be a state of mind, it can also be hereditary, although a little hard to believe.
Actually, there is nothing wrong with jealousy, as long as it is reasonable because a partner who truly loves is normally jealous, but jealous with love.
Unreasonable jealousy is actually not of God, but jealousy out of real love started from God for he is the first one who felt it, so the idea of it all is originated from God.
Exodus 20:25 you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me,
God who is the creator of us all, are expecting for us to worship and thank to the only living God, then if we worship other gods he will feel jealous because he is a jealous God.
Exodus 34:14 (for you shall worship no other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God),
2 Corinthians 11:2 For I am jealous for you with godly jealousy. For I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.
With all the verses above taken from the bible, is clearly stating that jealousy is originated from the feelings of God which is called godly jealousy.
God has the full right to feel jealous for he is the creator of us all and we are expected to serve and worship only to him the living God, and once we serve to someone else other than our creator then God who is our creator and the owner of us all will feel jealous with a godly jealousy.
So the feeling of jealousy, in a relationship is not bad because it is however the sign of a real and true love, but if we feel in this way without any reason at all is a different story.
Irrespective of the causes of why we feel jealous in a relationship, the good thing to know is that there is always a cure of it, and the signs that you are almost healed by this kind of sickness is when you are aware of it, so every time you feel jealous and then you can control it by not reacting negatively towards it, then it’s a sure sign that you have almost overcome it and the jealousy that you feel is fully understandable.
I hope you learn something about jealousy in relationship, and if you have any questions or comments, feel free to write them below and I will be more than happy to hear it.
Founder of Bookworm Website or https://franciscorondinalaurito.com